Stormclouds and a touch of Sunshine

Hi guys ,

This is obviously not a blogpost I’m gonna be proud of, especially since now I’m just extremely pissed and need an outlet to vent out all my anger… So obviously I won’t write nice things and I know, I shouldn’t do this stuff on the internet but I really really cannot take it man. I could simply just type this and delete it and be done with it, but I guess I’ll just post it up, so if I look back on myself I’d know what a horrid monster I actually am inside.

First of all, I really feel like slapping the people who say that I’m a nice person man, I’m pretty sure I am the meanest asshole around just that I don’t show it. Of course, we cannot just judge according to looks. Just as looks can be altered with makeup, our ‘personality’ can be a drafted fake cover to hide our true self. Just like me. I am a monster, and I will not deny it. I acknowledge it but I do not see the need to exterminate this monster in me kinda thing you know?

Anyway, I’m just extremely annoyed JUST simply by hearing this dude’s voice. Yes, that’s how annoyed I am. The worst part is that he’s a stubborn as fuck kinda dude who always wants things his way. Surprisingly, I am typing this blog post in front of him LEL. But really though that’s how annoyed I am. Truth to be told, I would love to simply leave and just wander around myself, because I value alone time a lot more than time with people like him LEL. I don’t know if this dude even reads my blog but if he do, GET A FUCKING HINT. Don’t disturb me man I want nothing to do with you to be honest but of course, that is impossible considering the fact that this guy is actually quite close to me in a sense that I have to be around him most of the time. Oh the agony. Oh the horror. 

Hopefully this is the last few semesters that I see him but noooo I just had to have some ties with him that makes me have to see him every now and then CREYYYYYYYY.

CREYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I CANNOT LAH I REALLY WANT TO QUIT I WANT TO QUIT I WANT TO QUIT.

I just don’t want anything to do with him anymore.

I want Ryan nowwwwwwww. But I can’t constantly be so selfish and keep relying on him… I don’t wanna stress Sammy as well. Ugh I just cannot. I REALLY CANNOT. His voice just irks me to the core and the worse part now is that although I am wearing headphones blasting my music to the max, I can still hear him. I only hear him and not the others. Well technically I do but then like they are muffled noises.

I swear I think he thinks that everything revolves around him sia. INCLUDING using US, HUMANS, as tools. Like hey, you don’t control me, you don’t control the others. DO NOT ever think you’re superior okay. Why is everybody your pawn? Huh? Because the world is your chess and we are your pieces right? Hmm , that’s extremely amazing because hey, we are all playing each other in the end. Funny thing is that we humans, do what we please. But some things that we do if others actually do the same, we just think its fucking annoying you know that kind of thing. Yea, I’m pretty sure I’ve been the jerk quite a few times over but still, I hate it when people be jerks. Only I CAN be a jerk and I WILL, if you really push me to the limit. Of course, that won’t be the best thing to see…..

Oh yea, I hate how when I took out my earphones he’s blasting shit from his phone and expecting everyone else too deal with his shit ewww. Don’t be so selfish leh. KNS I JUST HATE YOU. HATE HATE HATE.

Fuck you.

Oh and, if the shoe fits, feel free to assume it’s you okay.

Im sorry if this blog post is so angsty but I really need to let this all go man. Anyway, look, I’m not the perfect gentle kind girl you all think I am. Take a look at this, look clearly. I am not what you think I am. Whether you accept me or not idc lah. Just leave me be. The picture below literally describes me to the bone. 

 (This was typed on Thursday!)

 -------------------------------

Aaaaand that was what happened a few days ago. Looking at this again, I’m not ashamed of this neither am I gonna take this down but I do feel that maybe, if I didn’t type when I’m furious, this post would turn out differently, maybe like a reflection of sorts. But then again I really don’t regret typing that because if not for this post, I think I would’ve started crying or something already. Yes, I was THAT pissed off. 

A few other things happened subsequently that made me even more aggravated than I was at that point of time but yea, I’ve ranted my fair share out, so I ain’t gonna repeat that again. Thank you Burrito peeps and Ryan for hearing me out. I swear If not for you guys I’d end up doing something I may regret (Like punching the wall or something idk vandalism is a crime crey I ain’t a criminal)

OH OH AND IF YOU REALISED I ACTUALLY REVAMPED MY BLOG IT LOOKS SO PRETTY NOW IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF OKAY OKAY IM SO HAPPY. Like it was the only productive thing I did today LEL. It's a really slow paced Saturday compared to my previous weekends and stuff but while I'm grateful to this change of pace, I also got extremely bored because I didn't have much to do today. Well, I could've went for the event at Suntec today but Lazy ah. Don't feel like moving my ass out of my home it's so comfy. 

Also, if you realised, I actually bothered to think of a title for today's post AHAHA. Of course, this is not going to be a one time thing. I've decided to name every post because it gives you, my readers an overview of what my blog post is about, so you'll decide if you wanna read the post or not. Neat huh? 

So, first week of school wasn't all rainbows and flowers but at least, I survived! With all these negativity above, I'll try to balance it with some fuwa happiness. Well, throughout these whole week, the highlights are .. Wednesday (Which is Deepavali holidays) and Friday. 

My Wednesday was made up of movies, movies and more movies with Dad. I swear, we need more of these nua sessions man. Well, I shouldn't be complaining especially since it's only the first day of school but.. well.. haha. I can't help it! 

Friday was a really slow day for me as well, with BCS makeup lecture and that really turned me off. It was sooooo boring. While it's certainly more relevant than RHT, that doesn't mean it's gonna be a fun subject as well. Seeing how I did not print my notes, I was so lost in the lecture I started drawing lel. I know, I shouldn't have, but i was bored! Anyway, I had inspiration to write a few more Haikus ( I promise these are not as dark) and I think I'm proud of myself for that :) 

OH AND FRIDAYYY. WAS SO EXCITED FOR FRIDAY BECAUSE I HAD A DATE WITH RYAN, SHOPPINGGGGGGG. I never thought that shopping with guys for guy's clothes would be so fun omg. We laughed, we smiled, we drank (Bubbletea lel not alcohol). Too bad I didn't snap some pictures of him in the shirt I bought him I swear he look so hot damn. Though I felt really awkward waiting for him outside when he was changing crey (My phone was in his bag so I couldn't possibly entertain myself with it). It was all worth it though. Hope you like the shirt Ryan <3 An extremely belated birthday gift HAHAHA. Of course there are funny moments where the curtain was not closed properly and i just barged in LEL. HAHAHA well that was epic. It's a pity we didn't get the converse shirt too man... that shirt empathsized his body structure (which is really good btw). 

OH OH while we were shopping, we saw Jonas and Yu Heng ahahaha dear lawd Jonas looked so adorable with that cap and he's like 'don't judge' HAHAHA Oh I'm not judging sweetie you look so cuuuuuute omg. 

Halloween Tattoos are out! They're so adorable I just HAD to get them! Though a tad expensive but still it's so worth it! Will post pics on Insta and FB once we put them on :) Visit Lolitattoos on Instagram! That's the shop I think. The tatts are sooooo cute. 

Speaking of tattoos, I recently pasted on a "Low Battery" tattoo and I was so in love with it! I bought those from Poppysparadise on Carousell (Check them out!) and they were oh so friendly! I'd probably purchase more from them too :) Unfortunately, the tattoo faded really quickly and although this is only the 3rd day , almost half the tatt is gone already :( Maybe it was because I scratched it? Idk.... But really though I loved that design *^* 

*PS I'm not paid to advertise those shops above LEL But really they're cool. 

OMG I forgot what I wanted to type!!! But I guess I'll stop here for now the post is long enough AHAHAHA. Now for the Haikus and short stuff.

Yellowed leaf

Billowing to the ground

Eternal Summer

Cows moo

Duck poo 

On you

Just like a lazy moving river, thoughts translate into words at snail pace.

When it does, it confuses, it comes out in broken sentences, broken words. Though confusing to most, the mayhem of thoughts melding into words are utterly,completely understood by ourselves. When the right one comes along, these whispery lullaby of incoherent thoughts would be understood, by the heart. Listen. Feel it. Embrace it. 

That is it for today's post! Thank you for staying till the end :) Here's a random selfie !

With love, 

Meredith

Hey guys!

I can't believe this, this post marks the 101th post of my blog! Wow, when I started up this blog I really didn't expect myself to keep this up at all to be honest. It is actually a pretty big achievement for me since I rarely ever had the patience to maintain my blogs and stuff like that. Also, thank  you for the 3000plus views! I really have no idea why people actually read whatever I write here since I rarely update as frequentlly as I want to.. ahaha no hate please LOL

In all honesty though, before I sleep I do think about updating my blog but I always end up too lazy to do so hurhur. Well, at least I'm updating now right? Better than nothing! I have lots and lots of things that I never got to blog about and I'm not even sure if this blog post can cover everything but I'll touch on everything that I can actually remember! Do mind that the events that I'm covering in this post do NOT go according to timeline! Happy reading! :) 

I think I'll just start with yesterday, Yesterday we had a Sanbaka outing! However, due to a family dinner that I had to attend in the evening, I had to leave early (which im really unhappy with). So what happened was that we went to A Chock Full of Beans. Which is a really cute cafe situated in a corner at Changi. This cafe is famous for their extrememly cute 3D kitty latte art! So we went there in hopes of trying this really adorable latte! However, there was a set meal that I was interested in that didn't allow me to upgrade the drink to the latte... I was pretty sad about it but its not like I can do anything about it though! I thought the atmosphere in the cafe was really nice and I think maybe one day, I'll go over by myself with a good book and order the latte! My meal consists of a drink ( I chose Lemonade) and a really huge grilled chicken sandwich! The lemonade is balanced in a sense that it gives the sour kickk but its not too sour and theres also a tinge of sweetness if you get what I mean? The sandwich was nice but it's not nice until it's out of the world kind of nice but it's pretty good in my opinion. Oh there's this really cute waiter BUT he was too skinny LOL Just saying man too skinnyyyyy with no butt NO BUTT AT ALL. 

After the cafe trip we went over to a certain thrift shop that was situated in some part near bugis apparently, so yea hahah the clothes were really cheap there but not to my liking sigh. Turns out i didnt really get a chance to pop some tags huh. We then found ourselves in Dhoby Ghaut in a certain kbox that actuuually have vkei kinda songs there! Cool huh? I definitely had fun there man. Too bad I had to leave early hais.

The previous day before this sanbaka outing I finally managed to have a catchup session with LB! LIKE FINALLY. We went to lots of places like Wheelyard cafe, which is a very hippie place if you ask me. Too many people hippies i dont like lol. Although it do seem like a good place to sit down and read a book. After a sumptious meal of Grilled Chicken Chop with Asparagus and a side of Truffle fries, we headed down to the cat cafe in Scape where we had a marvelous time lounging around. The environment of the cat cafe was really soothing and I felt really relaxed there! The cats though, seemed really done with humans although they were all fluffy and cute and pretty little things. Of course, there were obese cats as well but ah wells. We enjoyed my time at the cat cafe mostly lounging in one of the rooms in the cafe LEL. To be honest though, I think the cat cafe is alittle pricey but eh. Go one time enough already heh. Just a piece of advice thoug, go when the cafe open for business. I heard  the cats are most active then . Somehow, I found myself craving for Vietnamese Spring Rolls from Crystal Jade Vienamese Cafe hur (Yes i worked there before hue) So we went over for spring rolls! Yay! I really miss the spring rolls man. We also paid a visit to the arcade where we raced HUR. Well, since I chose auto, it's pretty difficult to win Boon because he was on Manual.. but i didnt know how to use manual.. So hais. I WON SOMETIMES THOUGH JUST SAYING WOOOOO. 

(All these above were written 4 days ago) 

LEL I know I've been dragging this post for like over 4 days already IM SORRY. But I was lazy and all.. School started yesterday and guess who was late lel. I even bothered to take a taxi ONLY to realise that attendance wasn't counted the first week of school.... URGHHHHHH. So basically it wasn't a very ideal first day of school to be honest. I felt really really annoyed and guess what was the first (and only) lecture of the day? Accounting. ewwwwwww I dont like accounting man. Never did, never will. Ah wells, the lecturer was damn boring though. I might as well be late because he literally droned n and on about the marks allocation and all in the first 30mins (They can be found in ur handout) So yea... Shouldn't have wasted money on taxi man really. Hais, But whats the use of regret LOL. 

Also, on Sunday we finally FINALLY had a cosplay shoot yaaay . It was a k-on photoshoot! Which was also my first cosplay may I add aha ha ha. Those were dark times man, really dark times. They're the dont-even-mention-those-days kind of dark man. I'm not even kidding. Well, you know, since it was a cosplay and shoot and all, I had to get into the mood of my character (Yui Hirasawa) and although she is very similar to me, you must realise that im literally a derp queen LOL. So most of my shots were pretty derpy ahahah oh oh and they said  I looked like Vic omg what AHAHAH but of course Vic is prettier and all *^* It was an accomplishment to finally recos or first cosplay man. Really. The location was really nice as well! Coffeemin is a internet cafe with a free flow of drinks and snacks and they count the price as $1/10min. But you have to stay for a minimum of an hour. so thats $6 already. Oh oh finally met Ishak again after so long! Huehuehue I had fun :) Thank you YongSheng for being the photog and also Rein Kure for tagging along 8D Also, lots of love and kisses to my partner/husband(or waifu for the day) Kerry!

Oh oh speaking of shoots I also had a Casual/Fashion photoshoot 2 weeks back that was pretty fun! I learnt a lot man, especially since I can't pull off that sexy vixen look lel I could now 8D of course that caused alot of pain to my eyes because I had to look down while looking sexy kinda thing ya know LEL. Thank you Terence for being the photog, Aeris for being my partner and Alex for sk-ing :) Can't wait for the photos! 

Oh yes! Yesterday I decided to pick up my pen and try to start writing again, and uh I must say that I don't think im sane although I think I am. The piece is pretty dark man. Like dark dark. Anyway, I'll type it: 

3 Haikus (First attempt) 

Mud on my shoes

Transpiring birds

You're shit

Air out of grasp

Sinking into

Oblivion

Bloodlust increases

Spray of red

You left

One short piece of writing

The dark abyss that is my mind yet again swallows me up whole as I succumb yet again to it's sweet sweet deadly allure. 

Oh pure sweet darkness, wrapping around me in a chokehold I glady welcome.

Hello again, my good friend Death, how have you been?

I stand tall and proud as you do. 

But alas! The proud have to fall one way or another. 

Will it be by will or force? 

Bask in the unfeeling cold, that ice you encased your heart in.

Is this the solace you've been looking for?

I hope so.

They're all pretty dark eh x.x I really have no idea I had so much darkness in my mind... Or maybe I do know of their presence but yet,do not acknowledge them. It goes both ways I guess. Anyway, I'll stop here for today's post. See ya all around and take care!

Till the next post,

Meredith